{"id":14043,"date":"2023-05-11T22:04:37","date_gmt":"2023-05-11T22:04:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.yogajournal.com\/?p=111157"},"modified":"2023-05-11T22:04:37","modified_gmt":"2023-05-11T22:04:37","slug":"the-case-for-taking-a-solo-yoga-retreat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/index.php\/2023\/05\/11\/the-case-for-taking-a-solo-yoga-retreat\/","title":{"rendered":"The Case for Taking a Solo Yoga Retreat"},"content":{"rendered":"
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When I turned 30, I moved from Atlanta to Philadelphia, into a new job and out of a toxic relationship. My life had become a spiral that astrology-minded friends attributed to my Saturn Return\u2014a planetary alignment that asks us to make pivotal decisions about our lives. (Think Mercury retrograde<\/a> on steroids.) When my birthday rolled around, I wanted to honor my personal new year in some way\u2014and establish a clearer vision for my life. It seemed like a good time to get away, get still, and spend time figuring out where my new path would take me.<\/p>\n

As an introspective introvert, I didn\u2019t want a splashy vacay. My life was calling for some quiet time away from the fray, the phone, and other distractions. I needed time to get my head together and think about my Next. A retreat seemed in order.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t have much time (or money) to go far, but I found a nearby retreat center that looked secluded and quiet. I booked a weekend trip, packed a bag, and jumped in my car. The lush green campus was 30 minutes from downtown Philly, but a world away from my city life. It was exactly what I needed\u2013and the first of many solo retreats. They have become a personal tradition that I rely on for rest, recovery, and recalibration.<\/p>\n

What is a solo retreat?<\/h2>\n

There\u2019s solo travel<\/a>, where intrepid travelers take off on some private adventure. But those kinds of trips are often more about getting \u201cout there\u201d than about \u201cgoing within.\u201d<\/p>\n

And you can find plenty of yoga and meditation retreats at wellness centers around the world. In fact, carefully curated yoga retreats have become something of an industry. But they tend to be scheduled dawn to dark with activities\u2013yoga classes, meditations, cooking classes, bodywork, dancing, drumming\u2026.  There\u2019s always something to do and you don\u2019t have to be alone at all.<\/p>\n

When I say solo retreat, I\u2019m thinking of the kind of intentional withdrawal periods that Christian priests, Buddhist monks, Hindu renunciates called sannyasins<\/a>, and other ascetics in every spiritual and religious tradition have been taking for centuries. These seekers of enlightenment may spend periods in contemplation and prayer or doing intentional work, away from the distractions of the world. Hindu devotees<\/a> retreat in order to spend time in meditation, studying philosophical texts, and performing acts of devotion. In the Catholic tradition<\/a>, a retreat requires \u201ca series of days passed in solitude and consecrated to practices of asceticism.\u201d<\/p>\n

That \u201cseries of days\u201d is an important element of retreating. An overnight in another bed somewhere hardly gives you time to resolve your jet lag or recover your land legs, much less spend time in deep contemplation. Retreats take time.<\/p>\n

Finding Elements of Ease<\/h2>\n

To me, a retreat has an element of ease and simplicity. When I\u2019m on vacation, I may be concerned about the threadcount of my hotel sheets or how many stars the restaurant has. On a retreat, I want a clean and comfortable bed, and clean and comforting food. Ideally, I\u2019d like a place to practice yoga and a place to meditate, and I\u2019ll accept a massage or a sauna if it\u2019s offered, but the lavishness of the surroundings is not the point. In fact, that can be an outer-world distraction from the inner world I\u2019m trying to access.<\/p>\n

When I look for a retreat, I try to find a setting that offers quiet paths to walk and places to sit undisturbed\u2013whether that\u2019s in a sun-dappled chapel or a grove of trees. The retreat spaces I like have set meal times and buffets of nourishing food, so I don\u2019t have to decide what to order from the menu or calculate a tip. And there\u2019s always tea.<\/p>\n

Over the years I\u2019ve taken many of these solo escapes. Here are some things I\u2019ve learned about planning the most fruitful personal retreats.<\/p>\n

1. Peace and Quiet is a Commodity<\/h3>\n

My first solo retreat was at Pendle Hill<\/a>, a center run by the Society of Friends. As you\u2019d expect from a place run with Quaker values, the accommodations were simple but comfortable. There was the option to rent a hermitage, a cottage set away from the main campus where I would be totally alone. For my first time, I didn\u2019t need quite that much solitude. I chose a room in one of the main lodgings.<\/p>\n

The communal dining area included \u201csilent\u201d tables for people who wanted to remain in quiet contemplation. But all of the conversation was gentle and quiet. This was not the place for raucous laughter or boisterous debate\u2013indoors or out. During the day, I would find a place to sit in the October sun and write in my journal. Or I\u2019d take a walk around the grounds. I might come across other people wandering alone or huddled together in muted conversation, but the contemplative mood infused the whole experience.  When you\u2019re trying to go within, it helps if you\u2019re around other people with the same intention.<\/p>\n

2. Going<\/em> Alone Doesn\u2019t Mean Being<\/em> Alone<\/h3>\n

For me, being at a solo retreat means I can choose to keep to myself as much as I need or want. Or I can get out of my comfort zone and strike up a conversation with someone I feel drawn to. Often, people who see that you\u2019re alone will introduce themselves and strike up conversation. If you set an intention about how much engagement you want to have, it\u2019s your choice about whether to respond politely and go on about your way, or to engage fully and make a connection.<\/p>\n

At Pendle Hill, I met a young woman from Canada who had come for an extended retreat. We ended up taking meals together and having long talks. She invited me to a Quaker meeting in the city; that became my spiritual practice for a number of years. Being open to that serendipitous connection influenced my path in ways that I could not have predicted.<\/p>\n

3. It\u2019s Okay to Be Myself and Feed My Own Needs<\/h3>\n

I\u2019ve done girls\u2019 trips and group excursions. I find that people quickly settle into roles. The Organizer suggests activities; the Outspoken one sets the agenda; the One with the Food Restrictions determines the restaurants we\u2019ll choose. Traveling with a group means being willing to compromise so that everyone\u2019s needs are met.<\/p>\n

A solo retreat involves only one person\u2019s needs: yours. That means you get to decide what to do each day. At the beginning of a retreat, I tend to make those choices like I make any other decision\u2013based on logic or strategy or whatever my intellect tells me is best. I find that as I settle into my retreat, I can feel my left brain give way to my creative side, and I sense myself reconnecting with my intuition. Then, where I go and how I move on any given day is determined by a sense of flow.<\/p>\n

4.  When Spirit Moves, Move With It<\/h3>\n

One year, my annual retreat took me to a rambling house in upstate New York that a friend had recommended. I found it cold and uncomfortable\u2014no heat against the fall chill and not enough blankets. When I went to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea, I found an infinite variety of tea boxes\u2014each of them crisscrossed with spider webs. It was more than I could take. I cut my trip short and came home the next day. Had I been traveling with someone, I might have been tempted (or convinced) to stay. In this case, I didn\u2019t have to compromise. I didn\u2019t have to explain. I could move with my own spirit.<\/p>\n

5. Take Time for Contemplation<\/h3>\n

Solo travel may involve all kinds of activities and adventures, but you don\u2019t go alone on a retreat unless you plan to spend at least some time alone with yourself. For me, an ideal retreat space will have opportunities for quiet walks, a place to practice yoga, and meditation space. Because journaling is my preferred way to get out of my head and tap into my heart, quiet places to sit and write are essential. If hiking or swimming or walking a labyrinth help you feel meditative, look for a retreat location where those options are available.<\/p>\n

6.  Let Go of Expectations<\/h3>\n

One fortunate summer, I received a scholarship for a week-long retreat at the Omega Institute.<\/a> By this time, I was a divorced single mom, living on the modest salary of a liberal arts professor. A free week anywhere was a blessed opportunity to get away, but also a chance to get some writing projects done. While I was disciplined enough to make it to early morning yoga classes, most afternoons found me sitting on the deck outside the cafe with my bare feet propped up on the railing doing nothing<\/em>. Or I\u2019d retire to my little vine-shrouded cabin, fling open the windows to let in the breeze, and fall into deep naps, lulled by the hum and chirp of the insects. After the first couple of days, I realized that my lack of motivation to \u201cget something done\u201d was the result of how burned out I was from work and responsibility. I let go of the idea that I needed to produce something and devoted myself to the rest I needed.<\/p>\n

The Reason for Retreat<\/h2>\n

In my daily life, I have responsibility for\u2026 everything\u2014myself, the house, work tasks, my child, and now my parent. I wouldn\u2019t give up the freedom to make my own decisions, but I admit there are times when I might relish a sounding board or a helping hand. So why would a trip alone seem so nourishing? I think it comes down to being able to attend more fully to your own needs.<\/p>\n

Whether you\u2019re living solo, coupled, or in community, your days may be busy and full of distractions. It\u2019s easy to find yourself moving around the world on someone else\u2019s timeline and, if you\u2019re not careful, on someone else\u2019s agenda. Solo retreats are a time to remind yourself of your own rhythms. I ask myself pointed questions: What do I like? What do I need? What pleases me?<\/em> If I pick the right spot and spend enough time, I can find my own flow again.<\/p>\n

Or course, a solo retreat tests your ability to enjoy your own company, to tolerate the voice in your own head. But if you allow yourself the time and space to do some helpful introspection, you may come away with a sense of clarity and direction. Or you may not.  The product of your time alone makes little difference if it gives you a chance to practice self-acceptance and self-love. The ideal solo sojourn allows you to see the value of spending time with someone as special as you.<\/p>\n

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Tamara Jeffries<\/a> is a senior editor at<\/em> Yoga Journal.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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Spend time getting reacquainted with the most important person in your life: you.<\/p>\n

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