{"id":14338,"date":"2023-05-19T16:14:25","date_gmt":"2023-05-19T16:14:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/?p=322637"},"modified":"2023-05-19T16:14:25","modified_gmt":"2023-05-19T16:14:25","slug":"oh-behave-elise-loehnen-on-owning-being-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/index.php\/2023\/05\/19\/oh-behave-elise-loehnen-on-owning-being-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"Oh, Behave: Elise Loehnen on Owning Being Yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span>In her new book, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.eliseloehnen.com\/onourbestbehavior\"><i><span>On Our Best Behavior<\/span><\/i><\/a><span>, Elise Loehnen doesn\u2019t just shift the patriarchal paradigm, she shatters it. She transforms concepts from the Seven Deadly Sins into calls to action so that women can identify and own what they truly want to call into their lives. Recently, Elise sat down with Wanderlust to reflect on the deeply personal work required to break this cycle, and what being on her best behavior means to her now.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><i>Wanderlust: <\/i><\/b><span>You begin the book with a concept of people having a first and second nature, where who we are at our core can be at odds with how society informs that identity. In the chapter on pride, you discuss the \u201ctrue self\u201d versus the \u201cillusion self.\u201d You write, \u201cWe need to surrender to who we are and not who we think we should be.\u201d <\/span><b>How have you surrendered to who you are in your own life? How do you let your true self shine?<\/b><b><i><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_322638\" class=\"thumbnail alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"elise_loehnen_headshot\" width=\"400\" height=\"343\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" class=\"wp-image-322638 lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/oh-behave-elise-loehnen-on-owning-being-yourself.webp\" srcset=\"https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/oh-behave-elise-loehnen-on-owning-being-yourself.webp 768w, https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/oh-behave-elise-loehnen-on-owning-being-yourself-1.webp 992w, https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/oh-behave-elise-loehnen-on-owning-being-yourself-2.webp 300w, https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/elise_loehnen_headshot.webp 1456w\"><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-322638\" src=\"https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/oh-behave-elise-loehnen-on-owning-being-yourself.webp\" alt=\"elise_loehnen_headshot\" width=\"400\" height=\"343\" srcset=\"https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/oh-behave-elise-loehnen-on-owning-being-yourself.webp 768w, https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/oh-behave-elise-loehnen-on-owning-being-yourself-1.webp 992w, https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/oh-behave-elise-loehnen-on-owning-being-yourself-2.webp 300w, https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/elise_loehnen_headshot.webp 1456w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\"><\/noscript><\/p>\n<p>photo by Vanessa Tierney<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><b><i>Elise Loehnen: <\/i><\/b><span>Through a lot of introspection and intervention\u2014I\u2019ve found that I\u2019ve had to interrupt my own thinking, again and again, about who I am and how I\u2019m supposed to behave. These voices in our head are insistent and loud. The great thing that I\u2019ve observed as more and more people have read advanced copies of the book pre-pub is that once women start talking to each other about these concepts, it becomes much easier to identify them. This is deeply personal work, but it\u2019s also work we need to do in community. The more I speak to other women about their anger, their envy, their gluttony, the more conscious and aware we all seem to become.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><i>WL: <\/i><\/b><span>In the chapter where you address sloth, you show how imperative it is for both our bodies and minds to have rest, pointing out that the conscious brain can process sixty bits per second, while the unconscious brain can process 11 million bits per second! <\/span><b>What kinds of changes did you make when it comes to embracing <a href=\"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/journal\/tricia-hersey-rest-as-resistance\/\">rest<\/a>? Where did you see the most improvements?<\/b><\/p>\n<p><b><i>EL: <\/i><\/b><span>It\u2019s honestly been scary to embrace rest. I have allowed myself to watch more TV and take more naps in the last six months than I have in my whole life. I need rest. I am deeply, profoundly tired. But here\u2019s the thing: the constant grind and busyness was killing me, literally bringing me to my knees. I couldn\u2019t keep pushing in that same way. In this period of rest\u2014<a href=\"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/journal\/radiant-rest-tracee-stanley\/\">deep rest<\/a>\u2014I\u2019ve had to wrestle with all the fear it stokes about whether I\u2019ll ever be able to \u201cproduce\u201d at the same rate as before. I worry I\u2019ve lost my drive. But in that process, I recognize that what I\u2019ve called \u201cdrive\u201d has really been a cattle prod of fear. And so, resisting this feels like an essential gate for me to walk through\u2014to not say yes to every paying offer, to not rush to fill my days with things to-do. I feel close to being refreshed, close to being able to re-engage. But hopefully not at the same pace.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.eliseloehnen.com\/onourbestbehavior\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"book cover on our best behavior\" width=\"250\" height=\"380\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 250px) 100vw, 250px\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-322647 lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/oh-behave-elise-loehnen-on-owning-being-yourself.jpg\" srcset=\"https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/oh-behave-elise-loehnen-on-owning-being-yourself.jpg 506w, https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/oh-behave-elise-loehnen-on-owning-being-yourself-2.jpg 653w, https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/oh-behave-elise-loehnen-on-owning-being-yourself-3.jpg 197w, https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/book-cover-on-our-best-behavior.jpg 674w\"><\/a><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-322647\" src=\"https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/oh-behave-elise-loehnen-on-owning-being-yourself.jpg\" alt=\"book cover on our best behavior\" width=\"250\" height=\"380\" srcset=\"https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/oh-behave-elise-loehnen-on-owning-being-yourself.jpg 506w, https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/oh-behave-elise-loehnen-on-owning-being-yourself-2.jpg 653w, https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/oh-behave-elise-loehnen-on-owning-being-yourself-3.jpg 197w, https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/book-cover-on-our-best-behavior.jpg 674w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 250px) 100vw, 250px\"><\/noscript>WL: <span>You give the reader a very complete picture\u2014historical and religious context, scientific research, personal accounts, and current data\u2014to show how deeply these codes of conduct permeate our lives. <\/span><b>What findings surprised you most in your research for this book?<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span><br \/><\/span><b><i>EL: <\/i><\/b><span>Honestly, that the Seven Deadly Sins weren\u2019t even in the Bible. That floored me, as I think most of us assume they are religious law, or that Jesus must have said them at some point. Nope! They\u2019re the perfect example of how religion has become culture, how these things are passed down from generation to generation.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span><br \/><\/span><b><i>WL: <\/i><\/b><b>What does being on your best behavior mean to you now?<\/b><span> Of the Seven Deadly Sins, which were easy to strip away, and which were hardest to let go?&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span><br \/><\/span><b><i>EL: <\/i><\/b><span>On my best behavior now means being myself, even if that\u2019s uncomfortable for other people or requires some shape-shifting within my family. I think Sloth is still the most insistent for me\u2014this urge to be a \u201cgood mother\u201d is intense. What I\u2019ve found though, is that as I\u2019ve moved past my instinct to do all the things for all the people, as I\u2019ve put stuff down, my husband Rob has moved in to take over some of these duties. It\u2019s interesting to see how our energy changes as roles and rules start to shift even without actually saying anything at all. If I don\u2019t return the fieldtrip permission slip in the first ten minutes, and allow, gasp, HOURS, or even a day to pass, ROB DOES IT.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span><br \/><\/span><span>Honestly, they\u2019ve all required a lot of work. I think Envy was the easiest for me to integrate\u2014probably followed by Gluttony, because I\u2019m just awfully tired of policing myself about food.<\/span><span><br \/><\/span><span><br \/><\/span><b><i>WL: <\/i><\/b><span>Each chapter is a radical act of reclaiming one\u2019s spa<\/span><span>ce as <\/span><span>an act of self-love.<\/span><span> W<\/span><span>hen talking about <a href=\"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/journal\/i-beat-yoga-envy-and-you-can-too\/\">envy<\/a>, you address the scarcity mentality that blocks us from actualizing our dreams. Instead of thinking \u201cit\u2019s her or me\u201d, you shift it to \u201cshe has it, so I can have it too.\u201d <\/span><b>How important is it for us to make this shift?&nbsp;<\/b><\/p>\n<p><b><i>EL: <\/i><\/b><span>I think if there\u2019s ONE THING that women get from this book, it\u2019s this: Identify, diagnose, and own our wanting. We must then move past the fear of scarcity, the idea that only one of us, maybe two of us, can do the thing. Right now, we\u2019re programmed to believe that if someone is doing what we want to be doing, we must dethrone her, that there\u2019s not room for all of us. It is consistent and insidious and is the basis of our instinct to bat each other down or dismiss each other with statements like: \u201cI just don\u2019t like her,\u201d \u201cWho does she think she is?\u201d and \u201cShe\u2019s gotten too big for her britches.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>If we can stop policing each other\u2019s self-expression and \u201cbigness,\u201d I think we can lean into our own. We\u2019re at a point in time where it is essential that we all bring our gifts to bear.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u2014<\/p>\n<div readability=\"17\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"cameron machell\" width=\"200\" height=\"251\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 200px) 100vw, 200px\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-307519 lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/oh-behave-elise-loehnen-on-owning-being-yourself-1.jpg\" srcset=\"https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/oh-behave-elise-loehnen-on-owning-being-yourself-1.jpg 574w, https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/image-239x300.jpeg 239w\"><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-307519\" src=\"https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/oh-behave-elise-loehnen-on-owning-being-yourself-1.jpg\" alt=\"cameron machell\" width=\"200\" height=\"251\" srcset=\"https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/oh-behave-elise-loehnen-on-owning-being-yourself-1.jpg 574w, https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/image-239x300.jpeg 239w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 200px) 100vw, 200px\"><\/noscript>Cameron Joy Machell is a writer and journalist covering yoga, travel, and wellness. Always planning her next adventure, she has chased the Northern Lights across Iceland, camped under the stars in the Sahara Desert, and sipped kava with chiefs in Fiji. When she\u2019s not traveling, you can find her at home in New England, in the garden or on her mat.<\/div>\n<p> <!-- Facebook Comments Plugin for WordPress: http:\/\/peadig.com\/wordpress-plugins\/facebook-comments\/ --> <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;On my best behavior now means being myself, even if that\u2019s uncomfortable for other people or requires some shape-shifting within my family.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The post <a rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\/journal\/oh-behave-elise-loehnen-on-owning-being-yourself\/\">Oh, Behave: Elise Loehnen on Owning Being Yourself<\/a> appeared first on <a rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"https:\/\/wanderlust.com\">Wanderlust<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":14339,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14338","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14338","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14338"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14338\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14339"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14338"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14338"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yogacourseware.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14338"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}